...Happy 2004: "still alive... and well?"...

To create a band, trying to keep it alive, but also searching to bring it to a higher level, as most professional and well paid as possible, it's surely not the easiest job that you can imagine :-) Expecially 'cos in this business, I mean show-biz, injustices are on everyday's agenda, the human values reduced to the lowest terms and the relationships among people are absolutely secondary to the "God of money", who's making everything move and work. The forced silence, pushing the band named AXTRA to disappear for over eight months from the italian underground scene, it's not for sure caused by the lack of occasions to play in new venues, or by the cancellation of the Gods of tribute 2003's date in Torino bacause of a "downpour", or even by the obvious technical difficoulties we had to face after the forseen transfer of some of the musicians in other towns... Nope, I would rather call it a very different kind of problem, a sort of mixture made by disgust, tiredness, sadness, disappointment, betrayal and anger, causing all kinds of reactions in us, 'cos we all come from different backgrounds, with our own habits and tastes, so everyone of us has reacted his own way to the negative wave thrown against us at the end of July 2003... I can talk to you only about myself here, obviously, the private lives and emotions of the other three are surely to be managed in personal ways and I don't wanna hurt them anyhow by exposing them to the public, if they will like to follow my steps and write us an open mail, I will be very pleased to publish it on the website and to forward it to the Deth-Club's members, our little happy (...I hope...) family :-) But now it's my turn to tell you shortly what has forced me to stay in silence, to split AXTRA for all this time, to risk by not updating the website anymore and losing even its web address, to put away the guitars and to forget, even if with extreme pain, that once upon a time there were MEGADETH... You all know very well, I think, 'cos I've stressed you enough :-), about our past activity, ancient and recent, all our efforts for european tours, our cooperations with foreign bands, our festivals for tribute bands only and most recently our new "Maiden" experience and some of you may have imagined heaven and earth about many stories, unbelievable situations maybe, by not seeing foreign cooperators anymore, by not reading anymore about AXTRA out of the country, by seeing our festivals fading away and by discovering that now there are other musicians to play MAIDEN's songs and maybe that our "faces" have never been put on the interested websites... I'm sure that there's a golden future for who's tributing TALLICA oversea, or in Italy, or for whoever is tributing all other historical bands here, or also for who's now working to substitute the infamous KILLERS, without hiding a little envy and pain, seeing that for at least a little while that was my job :-), but I cannot shut up when I think that the way these cooperations have been closed and the way we have been put apart it could have been less painful and shocking, at least for what is concerning to me... A series of misunderstandings, I hope true at this point, 'cos I still estimate professionally ALL the artists and people involved in those projects, a series of unpleasant statements about us, or about our personalities, or also about our very limited technical capabilities (To judge from appearances) spread around thru the usual "rumors" by elusive "wreckers" evidently by profession, in conclusion the so called "bottom price" that you offer when you don't want absolutely to buy an item, all these things they have litterarly broken me. Even if I had previosly survived waves of "shit", everytime I was approaching again the creation of a festival or another event, everytime I was again starting to select some tributes instead of others, in short everytime I was doing what I was used to do before, all those judgements and comments supposedly coming from whom I have estimated and defended for a lifetime against their detractors (my many appearences in some italian forums are proving it), all those endless lies and lashes, reported to me as coming from whom I have surely helped in getting better purposals of work, at least in my country, in conclusion all that has left me with a will to live at the very least... I have even tried to kill myself, I say it here without false and useless shame, but I've had no "success", for the joy of the few and the desperation of the many :-), furthermore during that infamous terrible period that has often justified the clichè: "Luck is blind, but Bad-Luck sees very well", maybe suitable for the title of a MEGADETH's CD from the "golden era", indeed, I'd add on the back of the cover: "...And it's even aiming at you!"... I've suffered losses among the family's most beloved affections, a robbery in my recording studio, moreover AXTRA's and ONYRIA's base, my self-extimation was so low that I wasn't really seeing the reason to stay in this world to waste ozone... Do not take me wrong, I knew since the beginning that was impossible "to arrive", for this reason I was "content" with just a tribute-band, it wasn't a makeshift as for many others waiting to be given a leg up, it was just the awareness of not being able to expect more from the situation I was in and probably of my technical limits :-), for this reason I was prepared, but not to be mortified, betrayed, fooled, used and without the minimum moral (Or even human) reserve, me, a second "Mr. Bean" in the local underground music world... What would you do? I am too idiot, too loyal, too naìve and dupe and, in this kind of business, this is an unforgivable weakness, so I have to give up, the strenght is given by hypocrisy, by duplicity, by the capability to call yourself always out of the fight, to not compromise yourself, to not take sides, to stand for everybody and for nobody, to be politically able to make always and only your own interests... Alright, stop with morals, or I will pass for "Cinderella-Man", while I'm not so stupid, 'cos an idiot would not suffer at least, he wouldn't understand either what's going on around him, while my instinct is warning me, it would like to protect me, but the heart keeps on silencing it, 'cos it doesn't wanna believe that everybody, sooner or later, have interest in "doing me down", so it always repeats the same errors, until the fuel will end. At this point, at least some people have remained close to me and have tried to wake me up from my numbness, to bring me back to the light, to not let me go forever... ...I will never thank enough who has not allowed me to stop breathing... Now the feeling is different, there's only anger left, desire for a return match, maybe revenge, I'm pissed off by what happens while it should not, tired of words-words-words, of said or unsaid things, bands pretending to be your friends until it's convenient, just to deny you after, when it's no more, promoters paying you nothing just to put 10 times your amount in their pockets and after to cry also for losses, or even not paying you at all at the end of the show, not paying the agreed expenses and leaving you in troubles, not paying a coin commercializing the event, just to blame Metal music for the eventual low success of the show, bands asking a small fortune to go around, causing this way a block of the free competition in the clubs' circuit, the government not wasting one occasion to ask you any kind of fees and taxes, without giving you in change a rag of infrastructures or help, managers blackmailing venues, not allowing the new realities to come out, in order to show always their same few bands for personal advantage in a sort of neverending circle, promoters not willing to risk "their own money" on the new entries, they only buy what is well known and cannot fail and when, after long time, even that starts to fail, then the fault is always of the kind of music and never of their system, people working hard, day and night, only to "feed" false rumors to start a convenient fight, to misjudge everybody and everything, people getting angry if you don't like them, people getting angry if you like them, people getting agry, period, you cannot imagine why, 'cos you don't know them either, envy, all kinds of "grabbings", low tricks, MY GOD, STOP!!! If I shut up, I will only surrender to these people, this way I'll give in to them; who's had the possibilty to work next to me knows well the hard work I do for the projects, knows that my outgoings are more than the income, for this reason I'm so much in debt :-) and THIS is the only way I know and I trust to do or to try doing this job, even if I'm a rarity and I don't have so many firends, or I'm banned by some "co-worker", I've seen the faces of the people in the audience, I've seen those looks and I remember them very well, cos I've been one of them and I am still today, I know what they want and it's my intention to do all my best to make them happy, 'cos it's because of them if I do what I do, not for myself, not for who's making money, not for the unbelievers: Heavy Metal is a faith, you cannot deny it as you like... OK, outburst is over, why all this? Because I believe all of you to be people and not animals, I believe you have a perfectly working brain and you're absolutely capable to listen to the truth, not to the same old official news, you may have your own opinions, even if opposite to mine, but if, even for one single moment, I have provoked any kind of reflections in you, well, my goal will be reached and revealing my own soul, my personal feelings and my limits and errors will not be in vain, don't you believe it too? :-) Now we try again and for DETH's fans we'll hazard the so called "big hit" at least as the italian fanclub: during all this time I've kept the contact both with the MEGADETH's bass player of ever, Mr. David Ellefson, and with the new management of whom is looking to carry on the band's historical footprint also in this new millennium, their founder in person, Mr. Dave Mustaine, who are very busy actually in their future projects, the first with the cooperation with Cavalera's SOULFLY and with his own new solo band, the second with the whole Capitol's catalogue remastering and the new material sessions with the unforgotten Chris Poland on the other guitar, as many of you should know yet. But what nobody knows yet is that there are good possibilities to bring here in Italy our super bass player, for a bass-clinics tour that will show him closer to his italian and european fans. Waiting also, maybe, for "someone" else for the winter...hhmmm...??? What do you think? Do not complain about them never coming here and when finally they come you just disappear like "runaways", right??? Don't prove right those who don't wanna invest money in these events, nnnooooooo... Eh eh eh eh eh Then there is also the new cooperation with Nutellica, german METALLICA's tribute and with Fanthraxd, irish ANTHRAX's tribute, which will lead to the birth of the first international festival for tribute-bands, I hope, a “Monsters of tribute” totally dedicated to the golden era's trash metal!!! We are yet scheduling a couple of italian dates together with Tellica, in order to refresh the “Metal Up Your Ass” show of some years ago, that has been loved by the fans of both the historical “combos”. And there are also our news shows, this time we'll venture as far as the U.K., Ireland, the Netherlands and Germany, but, above all, again touring around the country, in order to meet again who's remained fond of us during all the suffering times, by never stopping to call for news about us and asking us to come back, even without foreign special guests... So stay tuned on this website, as soon as there will be news we'll promptly inform you!!! Thank you again for your trust, sincerely, from the deep of the heart, Eddie P.S. For the passionate Star Wars fans, I just wanted to warn you that the undersigned has been able to bring in Italy the mythical Dave Prowse, the english actor who has originally made the unforgotten, one and only DARTH VADER, on the occasion of the italian fanclub Yavin 4's annual convention. For a few days, since April 28th to May 3rd, Dave will be our country's special guest, he will attend to the convention in Cesenatico and show up at L'Ultimo Avamposto in Bologna, so, if you are a true fan as myself, do not lose it!!! Also 'cos... When the name is "DAVE", it's always registered quality, isn't it? :-) See ya soon...